April 2009
156 posts
“BestAt: RT @danielle_i: I just had a threesome with these two dudes from Vermont...”
– Alex’s “favorites”
March 2009
153 posts
“I know you could fuck my boyfriend and I think it’s so fucking shitty. I know...”
– This is the voicemail I received last night that I am too lazy to MP3 for you (thanks to everyone who sent me suggestions). But let’s just say that her valley girl voice ads a whole other dimension that is fucking unreal. Oh, and, it’s from a blocked number and I have absolutely no idea who she is...
Does my ass look fat in this?
(via marklisanti)
imallears:
Shampoo- Elvis Perkins In Dearland
Day 29.
evilqueenmagda:
“Thank you for reading my profile. In this part of my profile I’ll try to provide you with an accurate and honest description of myself - a portrayal of the person I really am, not a product of my imagination. Otherwise I would be wasting my time and yours…
What would I do if I had a million dollars? If I had a million dollars I’d invest it in a government treasury bond or a...
“After the pill and before AIDS. The best of times”
– My 60 year old coworker (via antikris)
“Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean..)
10. I...”
– Top Ten Rejection Lines (via voristrip) (via nerviosismo) (via kara)
tesslynch:
Wilco — Jesus, Etc
“Not taking an opportunity to work 6 months in Singapore, so I could stay in...”
– alexgodden
“Secret message tweet: Boy, I would rock. Your. World”
– zolora
hmg:
Howie Day “Collide”
...
fred-wilson:
Souled Out! - Conor Oberst - Conor...
“Sometimes you have to turn to your husband after a 35 year marriage and say,...”
– Hello, I’m Rachel.: Second weddings.
“BestAt: RT @moelevin: The condoms I use are so sensitive, they stick around to...”
– Alexsfavorites via BestAT
WANTED: Husband - w4m →
After too many trips to Home Depot and Lowe’s it has become apparent to me that I need a husband. I am currently accepting applications.
Suitable candidates should be able to demonstrate proof of the following:
- ability to fix stuff around the house, car repair a major plus
- can lift heavy objects without complaining
- can offer an opinion on home decorations (but not too...
Guys Thoughts On First Date Sex →
(via bellieface)
frangry:
I figured I shouldn’t be a tease, so...
tesslynch:
Band of Horses — Weed Party
“Heartstrings can be made to play almost any note if they are correctly tuned.”
– alexgodden
Desperation →
So maybe we’re all a tiny bit desperate, or worried about getting there.
But if under your “You should message me if” section says:
You are open to new ideas. You are intelligent, curious, down to earth, and not self-absorbed… … ACTUALLY, DISREGARD THE AFOREMENTIONED QUALIFICATIONS — ANYONE, I MEAN **ANYONE**, PLEASE MESSAGE ME!…(It’s been a over...
“You haven’t gotten him out of your thoughts because someone else hasn’t come...”
– Warren’s thoughts as to why I’m preoccupied with the past. =P (via okletsdate)
How to sound like an alcoholic when people are... →
I am so fucking awkward, jesus…I sometimes complain that guys never approach me to talk to me and/or hit on me. Well, someone approached me last night and he was even good looking. My initial screening, which I have finally started doing (1st question = might this person be homeless?) indicated that he was most likely neither homeless nor a criminal. He was even wearing a North Face jacket...
fred-wilson:
California (All The Way) - Luna
we...
You thought I was hot... till you found out I... →
I thought you were charming in spite of your inability to accurately gauge my gender. I’m sorry I ended up being male-bodied, and straight, but nonetheless I’d like to see you again. Maybe next month? I only go when my lesbian friends invite me, but they’re giving you their official thumbs up. And I think your smile’s lovely. So there.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm highly... →
“S.M.T.: I don’t think we’d get along if we knew each other offline....”
– zolora
Woman seeks Man for Manly Duties →
I would like a man to perform some duties that have become beholden to him through generations of selection, and to a lesser degree, racism, sexism and plain stupidity.
Here’s what I need. I need a man, first and foremost, to get my damn car out of the snow. There’s only one of me. I need someone to push it and by “it” I mean car. You can say, “crank it!” or...
“At a party, not wearing pants, with the 15 hottest guys in Seattle....”
– jessieshmessie
So this happened last night
AntiKris: Yeah, so I hung out with [redacted] and [redacted] last night
Him: And how did that shit show come to be
AntiKris: Well I went to dinner with [redacted] and then [redacted] called to meet up so I took [redacted] to Planet Rose to meet up with [redacted]
Him: And how'd that go
AntiKris: I think they're in love. They were BFF all night.
AntiKris: But it's over now
Him: Why do you say that
AntiKris: Well I think it all went downhill after [redacted] licked [redacted's] face
imallears:
Boneless- The Notwist
I have been...
“I either sucked this guys cock, or his twin brothers cock. I’m funny.”
– danadearmond
Magic moments at the lighthouse →
Plinky asked and I answered. Where was my first kiss?
Well, Greek kids love making out. They really do. Last September I took my friend from San Francisco to my hometown (Nafplio) and inevitably ended up taking him on a tour of the places I made out when I was young.
“Take a look at this church - it’s really neat because it’s partially built into the hillside. Also I made out on the roof...
“Women might be able to make out with another girl at the bar, get spanked,...”
– Reverse Cowgirl Blog
“My Match goal is now 20% complete. We are 2 for 2 in lack of goat’s blood and...”
– Evil Queen Magda: Rich with Reports
bijan:
Red Hill Mining Town - U2
fred-wilson:
Wishlist - Pearl Jam - Yield
I...
Me: Nice shoes.
My Former Boyfriend's New Girlfriend Who Looks Like Beef Jerky With Hair: Thanks.
Me: I've never seen anyone wear those who wasn't, you know, a runner.
MFBNGWLLBJWH: I'm a runner.
Me: Yeah, I meant a good runner.
“Everything is beautiful when you’re in love, even dandelions. But if you...”
– msteciuk
