July 2009
202 posts
Girl in bar: So what do you do?
Me: I run a start-up.... or more accurately, I'm trying to get a start-up off the ground.
Girl in bar: So basically, you own a domain name.
To the super crazy hot girl on the 6 train:
frangry:
That little baby teacup chihuahua you were carrying around in a leopard print bag totally fucking killed it. And not in a good way. You doofus.
marklisanti: My Mad Men avatar just grimly... →
(via alexsfavorites)
“21. Your time has come. Deflower the kid!
To poor Blake Griffin. He...”
– From the Sports Guy’s Almost Famous & NBA column. Quotes are from Almost Famous
Are more women OK with watching porn? - CNN.com →
willw2:
In the first three months of 2007, according to Nielsen/NetRatings, approximately one in three visitors to adult entertainment Web sites was female; during the same period, nearly 13 million American women were checking out porn online at least once each month. Theresa Flynt, vice president of marketing for Hustler video, says that women account for 56 percent of business at her...
Wish You
jessicachu:
A. WERE HERE B. THE BEST
“Volcano eruptions for subtle innuendo on the bachelorette finale....”
– Corinna
We follow different people on Twitter
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“You follow too many sluts who have their shit protected, yo. How am I supposed to spy?”
herGreekness: Almost done. Michael the breakdancer melts my heart. I would marry you (probably just make out w/ u), Michael the breakdancer. #bachelorette via Twitter / herGreekness
One of the Most Interesting Man in the World's... →
CcSteff: I tease him because he dated an aspiring gym teacher. He shuts me up with a reminder that I once dated a tuba player. Touché. via Twitter / CcSteff
Yes, this really happened.
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I was going to offer you anal in exchange for getting me Indian food for dinner, but tonight probably offers a pretty small window for cashing that check.”
I miss Frangry
AntiKris: Ugh! This dude I met online is yammering on about surfing even after I've told him I dont surf
AntiKris: but he's nice so I cant just block him.
AntiKris: Oof. He just dropped the "I live in LI" ball.
AntiKris: That's my cue
Frangry: Back out slowly
Frangry: As if it were a bear
Frangry: Dont make any sudden movements, Lover
On hugs
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I’m done with this hug now. It feels less like you’re hugging me and more like you’re with-holding a boning.”
frangry:
I had a dream that I had a vibrator that was also a video game. So it had this screen, and it gives you a score every time you cum, so the goal is to cum as hard as possible. I bet the girl next door would be the world champion. Oh, also, in the dream, the vibrator wasn’t actually mine, it was my Mom’s. Ew.
“(203): she called me screaming that i shouldn’t ignore her phone calls, because...”
– texts from last night (via yeahthatblog)
I am going to kill myself
antikris:
Email from dating site from someone named Chuchaso:
“heyyyyyy werent you that gurl in Transformers?”
I fucking give up
Him: suppp girl hollertatcherboii
Me: are you serious
Him: pretty straightfoward
Him: what do you think?
Me: your vernacular is impressive
Me: (i'll give you a moment to look up "vernacular")
“This dude I went out with way back had a Glock 9…he also was hung like a light...”
– AntiKris (via antikris)
CcSteff: I brought toilet paper. He brought...
CcSteff: I brought toilet paper. He brought condoms. Clearly misunderstanding what the other meant by “grunting and straining.” via Twitter / CcSteff on 7/10/09
Katherine Heigl's Vibrating Panties: An Exclusive... →
by Mark Lisanti
“Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I...”
– texts from last night via Yeah That Blog
I just had to leave this on my dating site:
bellieface:
I’m with Krisanne on this one.
antikris:
Attention: I know most of you dont actually read my requirements, but I am serious about age, height, jobs, location, etc…and also…if I havent responded to your 10 IM’s of “hey” chances are I am not going to respond to the 11th. Just sayin…kthanksbye
Think I am being too harsh? Didnt think so….
carollaquotes: "I have one of the most functional...
carollaquotes: “I have one of the most functional penises I know of. It’s like a swiss time piece. It’s the Toyota Camry of penises.” via Alex’s “favorites” on 7/16/09
dickc: The barrista asked her to repeat her...
dickc: The barrista asked her to repeat her request and I’m still not sure whether she’s ordering a coffee drink or describing her ideal man via Ask First, Shoot Questions Later on 7/17/09
alexgodden: I need to date a cat person. Dog...
alexgodden: I need to date a cat person. Dog people are used to too much unquestioning adoration + have no respect for independence. Plus cats are cool via Twitter / alexgodden
CcSteff: "It wasn't my best handjob, but it was...
CcSteff: “It wasn’t my best handjob, but it was the most memorable. For us and everyone else in the campground.” That’s how I avoid small talk. via Twitter / CcSteff
This is why most NY women are single. All hope has...
me: what is with guys in their 20's that just want to suck, fuck and bounce
i dont get it
Josh: well
if you're asking me
Josh: it's because I cant afford and don't have time for a relationship. And because were horny, think logically and realize friendship and sex can work if you don't see too much of each other and talk to each other equally
me: you and dave should be best friends
lol
Josh: I don't have time for them either
me: haahhahaa
Josh: I like entertaining for a night
me: it's not that you don't have time
its that you dont want to the relationship
u dont want to have to be considerate of another person
this is why grls get hurt
they dont get this
Josh: hold
battling
me: ok
Sent at 2: 29 PM on Tuesday
Josh: I like relationships with the right kind of girl. It's the fact that I don't have time for all that comes with it is why I wont do it.
me: you're such a busy bee shaner face
yeah but how do u know if she's the right grl if u don't give it a shizz
just sayin' and playin'
Josh: I don't believe in the "right girl." I think there's more than just one person
out there for someone
me: true
hence divorce
multiple marriages
etc etc etc
Josh: right
me: i agree with that
Josh: yup
Sex is fun
no need for feelings
me: boys are weeetarted
Josh: Amen
me: see but with that mentality
you'll be screwing dumb 19 year old doormats all the time
Josh: damn...
Joy and Pain
via Kelli on 7/21/09 Joy and PainSource: www.youtube.comPerfect moment at Coney Island http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0cCumx0LlY&feature=player_embeddedwww.youtube.comPerfect moment at Coney Island http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0cCumx0LlY&feature=player_embedded
“Just because some cute girl likes the same bizarro crap you do, doesn’t make her...”
– –A little girl in the trailer for 500 Days of Summer (via frangry)
bijan:
Take What You Take - Lily Allen
Been...
The Invisible Hand guides Masturbation →